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Author Topic: blog  (Read 844792 times)

RQ

  • Posts: 862
  • ayy lmao
Re: blog
« Reply #2625 on: July 21, 2015, 11:46:47 PM »

I might try taking hormones idk if I'll stick with it or if I do the whole name change and surgery stuff
I gotta go through more therapy first anyways so we'll see how it goes
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McJongJing

  • Posts: 7667
Re: blog
« Reply #2626 on: July 21, 2015, 11:57:09 PM »

Gannette!
Please don't make any decisions you'll later regret!
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Kami_sama

  • Posts: 4116
  • Live large, die large. Leave a giant coffin.
Re: blog
« Reply #2627 on: July 22, 2015, 06:15:11 AM »

I thought RQ was hardcore gay. :eee:
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a worthless person

  • Posts: 1796
  • not worth worrying about
Re: blog
« Reply #2628 on: July 22, 2015, 07:34:45 AM »


I transcend in this life through feelings of pleasure which are all good feelings including love, motivation, and empowerment. My dream in life was to be an anime and videogame composer. My sole reason for doing so was to get transcending pleasure highs off my compositions which would make me transcended and my life greater.

I am like a heroin addict. But in a very profound transcending and meaningful sort of way. I am not just like some junkie who just lives for those generic pleasure highs any drug user would get. I live for feelings of pleasure that are far more profound.

I never did any heroin or any other type of drugs and nor would I ever consider doing any drugs because I know the type of damage those drugs can do to you. They even damage the areas of the brain that experience pleasure and there is no way I would ever choose to have that happen to me.

But even though I have never did any drugs or heroin, my mind has now been permanently wired like a heroin addict's in that only feelings of pleasure define me and my life as good and nothing else. Only me getting pleasure highs makes me and my life the greatest. So it is now too late. I am forever bound to only perceiving pleasure as being the only good thing there is in life.
But I have now lost all my feelings of pleasure 24/7 everyday and there are never any given brief moments of pleasure at all. So I have given up being a composer for now only until my full feelings of pleasure return. If they can't return, then I will never go back to ever being a composer again.

Some say that there is a form of pleasure, joy, and happiness that can come from our thoughts, perceptions, including everything else in life without our actual feelings of pleasure. But these people are only lying and fooling themselves. This form of pleasure is nothing more than a lifeless, dead, bland, and zombie-like form of pleasure and is nothing more than just a thought of pleasure and not the actual experience of pleasure.

One last thing I would like to say to conclude this interview is that if I were to choose to compose in this dead, zombie-like content neutral mind state, then there is no way I can ever possibly stand that. I would become enraged since I am unable to derive profound transcending feelings of pleasure from my compositions and my world of composing. I am not the bland lifeless and robotic-like type of person who lives life like a job. I am much more profound and much more transcending than that. I am a profound and transcending type of person. Hence the reason why I can only live my life through experiencing pleasure and profound transcending pleasure highs. I refuse to ever live my life as the bland robot which is a life I find no value in whatsoever. That life would only be an utter mockery and insult to me. If I were to ever somehow choose to live with and accept such a lifestyle and such a way of composing, I would become enraged and view myself as inferior since I am no longer that profound and transcending individual.

Therefore, I refuse to be this bland biological robot in the world of composing. I must get a pleasure high from my compositions and themes for the characters and their worlds in order to feel transcended from them. Otherwise, there is no longer anything for me in this life and nor is there anything for me in my composing dream. I can still live for others and compose for them. But I have a right to have my personal good life, too. My feelings of pleasure are the only things that give me a sense of bond and connection to the characters and their worlds. They are also the only things that inspire compositions and themes for them whether they be dark, tragic, gothic, happy, beautiful, or joyful themes. Therefore, since I have completely lost that sense of bond and inspiration, then this is the reason why I have completely given up being a composer for now. Since my pleasure has been put to a halt, then my life and composing dream have also been put to a halt. Only if my full pleasure returns would me, my life, and composing dream be up and running again with the flow of vigor and transcending life force.
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McJongJing

  • Posts: 7667
Re: blog
« Reply #2629 on: July 22, 2015, 07:44:10 AM »

Video games and anime are worse than drugs.
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Kami_sama

  • Posts: 4116
  • Live large, die large. Leave a giant coffin.
Re: blog
« Reply #2630 on: July 22, 2015, 09:09:45 AM »

I arrived in Tokyo and, since it was already late, I decided to go look for a place to eat in Akihabara, since my hostel is, for some reason, only three station away from this place. :nyoron:

Until now I never walked into a place that catered to me, especially this much. Since it was late some of the stores were already closed but there were girls dressed in maid or high school girl handing things at every corner, most of them even were cute. :kyaa:

There's huge screens that mainly stream anime previews in the street.

All the stores blast idol music or anime music or what sounded like a nightcore remix of one of them.

I even received my credit card just before leaving, so my money problem are gone. :)
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Ming

  • Empress
  • Posts: 10005
  • Stinky Smelly Salary Man
Re: blog
« Reply #2631 on: July 22, 2015, 09:56:19 AM »

That's awesome Kami!

 :ok2:
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Ming

  • Empress
  • Posts: 10005
  • Stinky Smelly Salary Man
Re: blog
« Reply #2632 on: July 22, 2015, 11:42:52 AM »

gonna go down to the store and buy snacks

mostly chocolate I think

also! to counteract the snacks, I'm gonna get a bunch of vegetables and make some nutritious but tasty and creamy vegetable soup

I haven't made soup in forever so I'm looking forward to it!
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Ming

  • Empress
  • Posts: 10005
  • Stinky Smelly Salary Man
Re: blog
« Reply #2633 on: July 22, 2015, 12:59:02 PM »

Remembered I totally forgot to buy potatoes and garlic half way back home



I don't neeeeed them to make soup, but potatoes is an easy way to add extra chunky bits without upsetting any flavour, and garlic helps keep the taste of greens from becoming too overpowering / I fucking love me some garlic.

#GrownUpProblems
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Ming

  • Empress
  • Posts: 10005
  • Stinky Smelly Salary Man
Re: blog
« Reply #2634 on: July 22, 2015, 08:48:59 PM »

I went to the bathroom

It reeks something fierce of get this, yeast, and the floor is seemingly greased up with lard (or something). almost slipped and fell when I tried to enter in the dark, the whole area around the toilet and sink has this smear

And there is what looks like pieces of poop here and there scattered about (also floating in the toilet)

I don't even want to think of what the hell my brother has done in there (we have two bathrooms, one is my dad's and is connected to his room, the other is used by me and my brother and guests as well)

Please, someone, anyone, save me from this house

I don't want to live with these filthy animals anymore

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Kami_sama

  • Posts: 4116
  • Live large, die large. Leave a giant coffin.
Re: blog
« Reply #2635 on: July 22, 2015, 08:58:52 PM »

Dirty toilet are the worse. :tears:

Poor Ming, he's even bullied by his family. :tears:
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McJongJing

  • Posts: 7667
Re: blog
« Reply #2636 on: July 22, 2015, 09:01:13 PM »

Jesus what?
Confront your brother.
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Ming

  • Empress
  • Posts: 10005
  • Stinky Smelly Salary Man
Re: blog
« Reply #2637 on: July 22, 2015, 09:07:30 PM »

Yeah I'm gonna once he gets home from work tomorrow
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McJongJing

  • Posts: 7667
Re: blog
« Reply #2638 on: July 22, 2015, 09:09:13 PM »

Make him scrub that shit up  :mad:
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Ming

  • Empress
  • Posts: 10005
  • Stinky Smelly Salary Man
Re: blog
« Reply #2639 on: July 22, 2015, 09:28:23 PM »

Already did what I could, I had to use the toilet after all and I wasn't going to with that mess around.

I'm really happy he's finally going to study this fall so I'll be rid of him, since the school is quite far away.

Assuming he makes the cut  :mad:
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