I had like a super lewd dream/nightmare (idk how to even describe it) or something last night idk how to explain it, it was so lewd and visceral I couldn't even enjoy it
basically the dream starts off with me chatting to this cute guy online and then I turn off the pc and go to sleep
then the same guy was suddenly able to get my address and stuff and then woke me up as I was just about to sleep and said something like "is it alright if I crash here tonight" or something and then I was kinda tired and just said "yeah sure" without thinking, I wasn't even thinking of lewd stuff and then when I was about to say some more stuff my speech started slurring and I fell unconscious and I was thinking "holy shit is he drugging me ahhhhh I'm gonna die"
I woke up half conscious and naked with my vision all blurry and I was on some stone cold floor with ropes around my arms and feet and the inside of my mouth was all slimy and covered in...you know...and the floor was all slimy and sticky and I saw to blurry figures jacking it over me and the guy I was chatting to was raping my thigh gap
and I couldn't move or was too weak to move or do anything my eyes were just sorta half open and id be crying if I had the energy to (or idk, I was feeling kinda braindead while it happened so I didn't really question whether it was good or bad, just knew that it was happening, maybe I was mindbroken and I had no feelings either way and just let it happen, not that I could stop them from doing anything anyway), and all the sound was kinda muffled just a hissing noise in my ears during this and I felt all the physical stuff
then some people busted the door open in whatever room I was in and then the rapists ran away and I sorta tried to crawl around to them after they cut the ropes, I was barely conscious so they put some pills in my mouth with the inside still thick with...stuff and I didn't have much energy to swallow so it took me about a minute to swallow the pills, as soon as they went down my throat I woke up irl and I was like "woah holy crap"
the dream was so realistic and I was really scared and shizz, like I literally remember asking myself in the dream "is this a dream" and I thought "its got to be I can feel everything"
tfw unconsciously raped while also unconscious irl by your horrible abusive brain