So, around two months later, it's starting to sink in that my grandma is gone. I hardly knew her to be honest. All I remember is that she was grumpy and strict when I was young. I only saw her a handful of times now that I'm an "adult". She looked depressed and sickly, usually staring off into the distance. I couldn't attend her funeral because of the accident I had that same day she passed. I don't think I'm all that sad about her passing. I wasn't close to her. It's more like I wasn't there for my family who were, that's what gets me. I'm home sick, but I'm not even sure where that is right now. If home is where the heart is, then mine is scattered in the wind.
Apart from that, I've been a moody little shit the last few weeks. It seems like my mood just swings every hour or two. I've been resentful, disgruntled, energetic, motivated, apathetic, playful, sad, hopeful, worried, and empty all in the same day in no particular order or even limited to that list. What worries me is most of these are negative. I'm not sure if it's a step up from being bummed all the time about my finger or not. I'm pretty sure this isn't healthy.
