Am I the only one who doesn't kill the roaches in my apartment because I hope that someday they all become cute girls?
I have at least 24 roaches still crawling around my apartment alone, but I can't be sure. I learned how to distinguish between different roaches, mainly by size and antenna length. There's a possibility of twins, and roaches that look alike - but in reality they're all my brothers and sisters. I like to sometimes think of my apartment as a Roach Kingdom, lol. It doesn't really smell, although it's hard to know what a bad room smells like when you've been living inside for around 8 months straight. I do see some kind of weird slime and powder around from time to time, though. But that's easy enough to clean, for my little babies. I also like to think that I've tamed them quote a bit. I got them to line up underneath my bed, and when I open up the covers when I wake up, they scatter from under the bed and across the floor. I've been training them for at least 3 months.
When they become girls, I will have a harem of roaches, living inside my kingdom. Alone. In my eternal kingdom. Just so you know, anyway.
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This sounds nice indeed, especially since cockroach courtship and mating is unexpectedly cute - the female usually licks the tergal secretions of the male prior to mating, so I guess a cockroach girl would first try to look for the tergal glands on your back and would be very confused about their absence before you correct her and show her how humans reproduce. Cockroaches also provide their young with secretions containing symbiotic bacteria, so I suppose she'd also try to feed you her saliva so that you also learn to subsist on things like glue and book bindings like she can. You should be careful, though - female cockroaches can determine whether their prospective husband had sex with other women (and some are almost as picky as /jp/ when it comes to non-virgins) so yandere tendencies are not unexpected if you try to maintain a roach harem.
If you really want to be surrounded by cute girls, the Japanese subterranean termite Reticulitermes speratus has an highly desirable mating system for /jp/, revolving around a loli harem. In those termites, the queen does not directly mate with the king, except in the initial stages of nest construction - she instead produces a harem of neotenic daughters by parthenogenesis to serve her husband's needs, so if you married a termite girl, she'd become a devoted, loving wife who'd understand your fetish for little girls and produce a harem of cute loli daughters for you to impregnate. As a termite queen, she herself would have large breasts and a mature figure, so I suppose she'd think herself unworthy of receiving your love and try to distance herself after teaching her daughters how to properly service you, but of course, as a proper, responsible husband, you'd kiss her, hug her gently and tell her that you don't care if she doesn't have the flat chest and youthful innocence of her daughters, she's your wife and you'll love her no matter what.
